This weekend at church I could have easily been a blubbering mess. However, after my episode of breaking down already in for the week, I decided to hold back. I do have to admit, that I do feel like showing a tearful emotion at church sometimes, but I hold back. Maybe I should just sit next to people I don’t know.

The reason that I was so moved is because of God’s Love.

For many of us, we do struggle and/or have struggled with letting people into our lives. That could start from US letting ourselves in and loving ourselves…or others.

But to let GOD in…now that’s just a different level all together. When people ask me why I became a Christian it’s because I felt for the first time the real possibility of someone loving me..and not having to have my heart stamped on. In fact, it was after a talk that a guy gave about how he repented his past (mainly poor sexual decisions) and how his life turned around.

I grew up, as many have, with an ‘all or nothing’ approach to God.

‘I can’t be a Christian, cause I am not a virgin’
‘I can’t be a Christian because I don’t know enough about the Bible’
‘I can’t be a Christian because I struggle to find God in my life’

But I remember that day, in church, when I felt that pumping/energy/holy spirit in my heart. BOUNDING out of my chest. I had finally decided that for me, my relationship with God, God would take me at whatever shape I was at that very moment.

I have this realisation for a long time and it got some much more intense for me last night.

I have never thought of and/or comprehended the notion that God had me in God’s image before I was born. That God’s love for me has been with me forever. That no matter what God is always ALWAYS loving me, nurturing me, waiting for.

The perfect man 😉

This passage almost made me into another blubbering mess.

Isaiah 43:1-2
But now, this is what the Lord says–he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have summoned you by name; you are mine. // When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep you over. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

God has called me by name?
I am God’s image?
God is ALWAYS there for me?

I don’t want to sound crazy, cause I can’t even believe that I am writing this, but I had this sentiment the other day when I was in the shower (yes, in the shower) that I had to keep my heart open to God. To make God at the center of my life ‘then you are cured’ is what raced through my head.

To know that God has been waiting, patiently, to say ‘Michelle, I made you, I have been with you. I am here. Waiting…ready?’

‘Yes!’

~Farm Girl


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