I am a new Christian, and I recognise that perhaps I don’t know much. But what I do know is that people are human beings worthy of people’s respect and grace.

I went to visit someone today in the hospital and I was talking to their partner. I was talking to them about how when I am working with patients on my nursing prac I try and look at each person as  a Child of God. That even though they may not be overly nice and/or able to communicate with me, they deserve to be treated with humanity.

I sometimes wonder if we, I, have lost track of the real message behind being a Christian.

Matthew 10:6-8

Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel // As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of Heaven is near.’ // Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leposry, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.

Those words are from Jesus. As he ministered, as he taught his disciples, as he teaches us now…it’s about giving freely of our faith to those ALL around us.

  • It’s not about shutting people out, because they don’t fit into boxes that we have.
  • Denying people friendship because you don’t have time.
  • Not volunteering, because you wouldn’t work with ‘those kind of people’.

The point that I am trying to hammer home, is that many times when we put ‘lists’ together of what something should feel/be/look/taste like..we are not really giving of ourselves freely. Giving of ourselves freely to ourselves, to those around us and to God. I am NOT saying that you have to constantly have your heart open to God in every single instant. However, what I am arguing is that when we go through lives with blinders on as to what does and doesn’t constitute as ‘perfection’, ‘the one’, ‘irreplaceable’ we are actually shutting out experiences/people/God because we are not being free.

I have written about dating before and I once again was reminded of the intense pressure/expectations that we all put on finding ‘the one’. The lists/walls go up so damn high that we shut down. We forget how to give freely, because we are looking for ‘the one’ to crawl over out wall and sometimes barbwire to get in. But why after making someone go through all of that would you give freely? Would they want to give freely?

I just wonder if we actually are giving of our hearts freely? If we are helping those people who need help? If we are taking the blinders off?

It is only when we keep our hearts open, take down walls, burn mental checklists that God is able to work within us.

Proverbs 16: 9

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

To say simply that I have found it hard sometimes to understand the pressure and prescribed roles that people have laid out in their lives—would be an understatement. I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed for a patient, the heroin addict who had given herself a nasty infection—she needed to be loved; not judged.

The thing is, that coming from a new Christian, I struggle when I feel that I am being put into a box, put on a check list, been told that I am not enough.

It just makes me long to sit with Jesus on a rock, listening to his ministry, yearning for more of his wisdom.

~Farm Girl

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