I was having a conversation with a friend last night..and we got on the topic of relationships. It seems to go that way with single Christians. I don’t know if it’s me, or them or the both of us..or just human nature.

How’s the weathers, How’s your job, How’s life, Anything exciting, Anyone on the radar?

It’s like a five degrees of separation…from the inevitable question.

Being the tight-lipped group that Christians tend to be, and I suppose that maybe true for all, the ‘Oh there’s not really anyone on my mind’ is either

1. a standard response to mask the fact that there is someone on the radar, but you don’t feel like telling anyone for the simple fact that it will most likely spread like wildfire through many times the intensely tight circle
2. you do have someone on your mind, but you know of at least 2-4 other people who like them as well
3. nope, there just ain’t no one
4. you get brave, finally, and say something

The point that I am trying to make is this…why are we scared? More though, are we actually living the life and becoming the person that we should be in God’s eyes..in case we do meet that someone special.

My friend Nicole was talking about an engagement that she recently heard about. The guy had been keeping a journal for TEN years asking/praying/talking with God about making himself into the man who would be ready for a wife some day. In fact every time he got a dime (10 cents in America) he’d put a date on it and say a prayer for his future wife. On the day of his engagement he gave his now fiance all of the dimes and read passages from his journal.

(ladies are you melting? men are you taking notes?)

The point is..that perhaps we should stop focusing on hiding behind crushes and what other people would think about us and spinning conversations, Facebook interactions, glances into something to protect us from the inevitable feeling of ‘I don’t want to be alone’.

I have suffered from this before…I am going to obsess about this person because a least with my mental distraction of interpretation of what they have said and/or done is better than realizing that I am alone.

What the above engagement story to me demonstrates are some FUNDAMENTAL areas to think about

1. We are not alone.
2. Are you living a life that enables you to be FULL without someone else?
3. Do you have a faith strong enough to enable you to be complete and content?
4. Would you say your heart is open to “The ONE” if they came walking into your life right now?
5. Would you date YOU?

If I don’t live the life that God has for me and if I don’t sort out my own stuff…I won’t EVER be ready for the one. Many times I hear of people saying this “I am looking for the ONE. I just can’t seem to find them.” Upon further questioning the word “scared” in reference to opening their heart…is more often used then not.

You can’t be scared of being alone, of opening your heart, or finding someone who doesn’t fit your ‘ideal’.

Jesus wasn’t scared of opening his heart, talking to people less than ideal, and sacrificing his life for his love of God.

God isn’t scared of us, what we say to him, how we shut him out, how we go against his will, or our doubts.

In fact, God loves us so much…because each and everyone one of us is THE ONE to him.

So I say this because I think that the 10 years of making yourself the most amazing, open, honest, beautiful person through your relationship with god enables a person to realise that they are not alone, ready for whomever walks into their lives and alleviates this debilitating sense of ‘scared’ that so many of us who are ‘looking’ fall into because really REALLY we just aren’t ready yet.

~Farm Girl

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