I don’t want this whole blog to be about relationships…but I feel like it’s become that due to some of the interactions in my life.

I have NEVER EVER been in a place before whereby dating/marriage/finding ‘the one’ is SO important and relevant in conversation etc. Usually it’s weight. Since becoming a Christian there have become some BLARING realities of the xian world in regards to males/females/dating/hanging out…etc.

1. Sitting next to a guy or girl….can make people think that you’re dating.
2. Walking in together or out other….can make people think that you’re dating.
3. If you go out with too many guys…you maybe labeled a hussy.
4. If you go out with too many girls…you maybe pulled aside and told to ‘pull your head in’
5. If you ask someone to go out to coffee as friends…you may get a response back saying ‘thanks, but you’re not my type of girl.’
6. You may hear in a sermon that ‘Christian men need to step it up and ask girls out’ from a bloke…you may think ‘yeah that’s right…but why would they when they might have to present a ring after one outing.’
7. You may have a friend tell you that after hanging out one day, their partner is telling people they’re dating…and you freak out cause that’s way to fast for you.

I don’t get it.
Why is this?
Do Christians have NOTHING better to talk about than who is going out to coffee/dinner and/or walking in together and/or sitting next to each other?

We are creating a culture of such high expectations and anxiety it’s no wonder that women are sitting on one side of the fence becoming so enraged by not being asked that they sharpen their pencils and make their ‘lists’ longer and more detailed.

It’s no surprise that men sit and decide to pull away from women, because frankly ‘aint no man gonna wanna put himself in a situations that a) he’s gonna get called out b) it means ‘da da dada’ c) where he knows he won’t reach it.

I used to get UBER annoyed by all of this crap that floats around in the xian dating world. I actually find it overwhelmingly toxic, apathetic and not focused on what we Christians are meant to be doing.

So, you know what?
Go ask that guy/girl out to coffee and develop a friendship with no expectations except to learn more about yourself, what you want out of life, and find a good place for coffee.

Really…coffee shouldn’t have to equal marraige

~Farm Girl

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