When I first became a Christian last year I threw my whole entire social circle into the Christian culture that was part of the church that I went to. I have some pretty amazing friends out of it. I have learned a lot.

I have also gained a lot of interesting insight into the religiosity of people in the Church.

One of the first conversations that I had with someone who was a leader within the group that I was part of was that they would “never date a new Christian because they’re hearts aren’t on fire and they tend to backslide.” I left that conversation thinking that all new Christians would eventually give up, slide away into the abyss of the ‘have beens’ and the small insular circle that I was trying to penetrate would go on knowing that they were right.

I think that notion of backsliding is interesting. Does going to church make you less likely to backslide? Does not going to church label you as a backslider?

I used to get all worked up about these labels. What would my Christian friends think if they knew that I haven’t gone to church in that past 2 1/2 months?  If they knew that I took myself away from the group that I was aligned with. Would they think that the Devil was creeping in? That I was losing my faith? That I was “one of those new Christians?”

I am beginning and will continue to harness a faith that is my own. Sometimes it maybe in a glitzy, fake smoke filled worship service with flashy lights or maybe as small shed in the middle of the Kimberly or a front porch in an Aboriginal community or when I am looking after a dying patient on one of my nursing pracs.

Faith is fluid.

I think the tragedy with religion and faith is that has become so drowned down with what we should be: overly social, superficial at times, gossipy and for show.

My faith is my own. It’s my relationship and no one else’s.

I have done more faith building in my heart, letting God in, seeing God’s grace in me and speaking about God with my friends from a genuine place then I did in the nine months I was going to church.

Faith is fluid and I am NOT backslidding.

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart ~1 Samuel 16:7

~FarmGirl

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